The Unhinged Digest #11: Turkey's eleventh hour
Workplace mobbing in the Antarctic, Mel Gibson vs. women, NFL doing the right thing for once.
Welcome to our look at current “events”. Ugh, we hate events. Whatever, here are some jokes.
Turkey is no joke
Jokes are illegal and you know we famously don’t want to be sued. So no text here other than this:
Please free.
Workers’ rights
Workplace harrassment in the Antarctic
A member of the South African National Arctic Expedition (SANAE) IV has gone mad having sent death threats and physically attacking the team leader after having his schedule changed. “That sounds fair, it really sounds like bullying that they make us work when we really really don’t want to”, wrote a Gen Z employee over a TikTok of her dancing to Doja Cat.
Arts and culture?
Crusty Nazi gets woman fired
Attorney from the Department of Justice of the U.S.A Elizabeth Oyer has been fired for refusing to recommend Mel Gibson, a convicted domestic abuser and beloved opinion leader of the Nazis, get guns. Gibson’s previous career highlights include calling Winona Ryder an “oven dodger” for calling him an antisemite, and telling his estranged former girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, the mother of his children a "psycho cunt" when threatening to force her to give him a blowjob before burning her house down. The squeakquel of Gibson’s film Passion of the Christ, “The Passion of the Christ: Resurrection” is coming out later this year and he will kill everyone who doesn’t like it, with his new guns. Because cancel culture is defitinely real.
Influencer humiliation phase two planned
Cringeman Billy McFarland, the “founder” of Fyre Festival, that thing people paid thousands of dollars for and ended up hungry, thirsty and covered in mud because the festival wasn’t actually a thing, has announced a Fyre Festival 2. Fyre Fest 2 has not only been announced with a straight face (presumably fingers crossed behind their back), the local government in Mexico has so far denied having any knowledge of this Gringo shit.
Limp Bizkit attempts to Break Stuff, break Irish politics
On March 12th, MMA fighter Conor McGregor went to the Dublin, Ireland stop of the Limp Bizkit Loserville tour. Now, this wouldn't be the first time a rapist has been in a Limp Bizkit moshpit (there were several in Woodstock ‘99). However the audience booed the dark presence in a shocking example of male excellence. In the newly popularized, big boy version of trolling human rights defenders on X, McGregor announced his candidacy in the 2025 Irish presidential election, and has expressed anti-immigration, far-right, and populist political views. We won’t blame it all on Fred Durst unlike those Woodstock ‘99 documentarists though. We loved him in Y2K (2024).
Go sports
Finally, accountability from a sports team
No, it is not the National Football League (NFL) in the U.S. getting rid of known domestic abusers in the league. And no, it's not the LA Kings trying to reintegrate a player who was arrested for domestic violence. The LA Kings did formally apologize for the scarves and “swag” given out at their Armenian Heritage Night having been manufactured in Turkey. Good job, Kings! You… fixed it?
Environment
Greenpeace to pay $660 million to OIL FIRM
In another shocking vincidation moment from Succession’s Greg Hirsch, rich people sued Greenpeace and won. A U.S. court found Greenpeace liable for defamation, ordering it to pay more than $660m in damages to an oil company for the environmental group's role in anti-fossil fuel protest… The oil company has generously offered to let Greenpeace pay in installments over the next 50 years, or roughly until the coastlines they're trying to protect are underwater. As long as the payment is done before the Earth is.
Please don’t sue,
Ege & Mohammad